Journal Club June #3
Identity
Hello friends,
If you’re not yet inside Journal Club but self-help, inner work and journalling for fun are your vibe, please join us!
This month in Journal Club we’re exploring The Next Chapter.
More specifically this week we explore how are identity (the way we think of ourselves) shapes everything from how others treat us to what we believe is possible for us.
Part of last week’s work involved a guided visualisation exercise where we met our future self, looked around her home, asked her questions, got to understand what she values and how she moves through the world.
Since doing this exercise last weekend (an exercise I have done many times & has never uncovered this before) something kept coming up for me.
Identity.
This week’s work gave me a huge lightbulb moment.
I realised that somewhere over the last four years, my identity quietly changed & that has changed my life in ways I hadn’t even realised.
For most of my life I thought of myself as someone who had it together.
Organised. Sensible. Capable. Calm. Grounded.
The person who always found a way to make things work.
That identity held through many difficult things.
My dad died suddenly the day after my 25th birthday and somehow I still saw myself as steady.
Strong. Someone who would find a way.
But four years ago, becoming unexpectedly pregnant completely rocked my world.
Not because the pregnancy itself was a bad thing, but because it didn’t fit the story I had about myself.
I realised I had beliefs running underneath it that sounded something like:
“I’m not the person who messes things up.”
“My life doesn’t contain surprises because I manage and control things.”
“I am the woman who keeps everything neat and predictable.”
I thought I could hold onto that identity for a while after my youngest arrived.
And then six weeks in silent reflux hit.
Feeding became difficult. He wouldn’t gain weight. Sleep disappeared. Everyday felt stressful. Life felt messy.
And slowly, without noticing, I stopped seeing myself as someone who had it together.
I started building a completely different identity.
Someone overwhelmed. Someone surviving. Someone whose life felt chaotic.
Someone who no longer trusted life to unfold well.
And this week I realised something that genuinely stopped me in my tracks:
I created both identities.
Life circumstances played a part.
But identity isn’t just what happens to us.
It’s also the meaning we assign to what happens.
When my dad died, I refused to build my life around tragedy.
But somewhere in motherhood and exhaustion and survival mode, I unconsciously let chaos become part of my identity.
And here’s what hit me,
If identities can be created unconsciously…
they can also be created consciously.
Not overnight, or by pretending. Not through toxic positivity but through paying attention.
Through deciding what we want more of. Through noticing which beliefs still fit and which don’t. Through choosing what we repeatedly think, practise and reinforce.
Which is exactly what we’re exploring inside Journal Club this week.
Before we get to this weeks journal prompts I have included a few exercises below to help you explore what your current identify is & how it is affecting your circumstances.
Identity Exercises - pick one or do all three, the choice is yours!
