It's Not Them, It's You (3)
Grounding & Soothing Yourself
Welcome to Session 3 of It’s Not Them, It’s You.
Today is all about equipping you with tools for the challenging days. Because we all have them. As I touched on in the intro, there’s a big difference between knowing something in theory and consciously choosing to carry it out in the moment.
My aim for you (and for myself as a parent) is to practice the ability to pause before reacting when parenting challenges arise.
In Session 2, we revisited the thoughts, beliefs, and habits, what some might describe as emotional wounds, that stem from your own childhood. These can surface when parenting gets tough. You might not even be aware of them. But often, parenting awakens parts of ourselves that were not seen, heard, or allowed as children. Because these responses are embedded in the subconscious, we can react in a way that feels completely out of our control.
I’ve yelled at my kids and felt like it wasn’t a choice, like it just came out. And the guilt that follows is intense. If you’ve been there, you’re not alone.
Step one is recognising when this is happening & knowing your triggers. When you’re aware of what sets you off and offer yourself some grace, you’re better equipped to catch yourself and pause so you can respond in the way you intend to.
The inner child exercise from yesterday can help release some of those unconscious patterns. But it’s not a one time thing it takes practice. Listen to the recording as often as you need to. I also love using ASMR style inner child healing meditations on days when I feel particularly raw. They are grounding, soothing, and remind me to offer myself compassion. I’ll add some of my faves in the comments.